Holy Trinity Church

I remember a long time ago, part of my seminary preparation sent me to a summer chaplain school in a large county hospital in Dallas, Texas. There were 13 in our chaplain class, 12 Southern Baptists/Assembly of God and one Catholic (me).

We would meet daily for intensive meetings about the patients we were working with and then we’d break for lunch. It was during our lunches that we’d learn more about each other and what our personal faith traditions taught. You can imagine the attention the Catholic guy got!

Comments like: “You Catholics like statues!” Or, “You worship Mary.” Or, “the Pope is as important as Jesus.” Or, “Just go to mass and you go straight to heaven, right?” But the one question that we spent most of our time on was, “Do Catholics accept Jesus as their personal Lord and Savior?” “Did you accept him Tim?”

It really made me step out of my Catholic world to see what these Baptist classmates knew in their bones as little children . . . “What a Friend We Have in Jesus.” A real, living, present person . . . my friend Jesus. “Yes”, I said, but they made me dig deep inside to realize this friendship.

Many Catholics are a little slow to answer “have I accepted Jesus into my life”? “Do you mean, do I love God? Of course I do. I go to mass. I say my prayers. I try to live right. Does that mean I have a personal relationship with Jesus?”

I would say “yes”. You’ve got the basics covered there. . loving and serving a God we cannot see. However I think the question goes a bit further than that, asking in a sense is this relationship with Christ PERSONAL? Does it bear the signs of a relationship?

Is there a familiarity with Jesus that one would have in a dear friendship? Is there at times an emotional level to your speaking with God? (For example: “Lord you know I can’t do this. I can’t forgive, I’m tired of trying, I don’t want to turn away from some habit. Please help me!!!” That’s a personal relationship.)

What if I don’t recognize these feelings in my relationship with Christ? Have I accepted Jesus as my personal Savior? Don’t be too hard on yourself. Remember, you HAVE a relationship with Christ GIVEN to you in baptism. You are a child of God and you are invited to call God your Father. It’s a gift. Accept it.

The other personal feeling stuff comes naturally to anyone who loves God and tries to do what is good. If my chaplain friends had asked me, “do you always FEEL Christ’s friendship?” I would have to answer “no”. Feelings come and go. There are times when we are filled with affections toward those we love. At other times things feel dry and everyday. There is nothing wrong with that. It’s just how life is.

But there is one infallible way to determine whether we have a personal relationship with Jesus – – – – how do we treat our neighbor in need? Why is this the measure (and not some spiritual feeling)? Because Jesus said so.

“As often as you (fed, clothed, visited, comforted) these little ones, you did it for me.” MT. 25:31ff. And, “Whoever has not loved a brother/sister whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.” 1 John 4:20. In other words Christ takes it PERSONALLY when we care for our neighbor. Kindness to them is kindness TO ME says the Lord.

Loving our neighbor is essential to having a personal relationship with Jesus as Lord and Savior.

God bless you and meet you in these late summer days.

Fr. Tim

Back in the early 1950’s we lived on Bloomfield, a pretty city street in Akron, Ohio. Dad took the bus to work downtown and mom cooked, cleaned, and fed the three Horan children. I remember a big stair- case we were forbidden to slide down and a bedroom I had all to myself.

We rented the house for five years. Then one day, to surprise his wife, dad put $2,000 down on a little Cape Cod north of the city. Mom was furious in that she hadn’t been consulted; but with feelings repaired, the Horan’s moved into their first and only home. Dad was pretty proud. The American dream was coming true. (Mom still had to say goodbye to the dream of moving to Columbus to be near her large family.)

So we owned a home. That’s where I learned to ride a bike and Jimmy Farrell and I would explore the woods behind our street. Patty and Maureen did all the things girls do to grow up. Fifty-two years mom and dad had that house.

I knew the day would come, but it totally shocked me to see the “For Sale” sign in our front yard when I drove back home to see mom (dad had been dead 3 years). “I have no home now”, was the feeling.

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I’m sure many of you have a story to tell just like this. The point to be made is, something we all discover sooner or later, we have no lasting home. St. Paul tells us that all things in this world are passing away (1Cor. 7:31), “Time is running out. From now on let those . . . who buy or own act as though they were not owning, those using the world as not using it fully.”

Why? Because we are renting this body, this space, this time, this home, this family, this parish . . . It’s all passing away. Nothing material is made to last forever. That means we’re here temporarily. We’re renting. We’re pilgrims on a journey.

St. Paul even calls Christians “strangers and aliens on earth.” (Hebrews 11:13) “Those who speak thus show they are seeking a homeland . . . a better homeland, a heavenly one.” vs. 16. This in no way lessens the beauty and wonder of the world and our responsibility to work for a better world here and now. “God so loved the world . . . “ (Jn. 3:16) So do we.

Our “passing through” has huge implications for how we use the things of the earth. Not being “owners” we are “stewards” instead. St. Thomas Aquinas tells us, “We possess external things not as our own, but as common, so that we are ready to give to others in their need.” Pope Francis in his encyclical, Laudato Si, reminds us that the goods of the earth (our water, air, forests, farmland) are given to each generation to be properly cared for so they might be passed on to the generations that follow.

When you think of it, everything we have has been given to us: our home (Mother Earth), our very lives, our family, our country, our skills to carve out our life’s story. And then . . . . . . there will come a time when we have to leave it all behind. We will pass from this earth to enter (once again by God’s gift) Eternal Life.

No more renting; we’ll be home. In the meantime let’s use this time to make this a better world for those who will follow.

Bless your Summer days.

Fr. Tim

A good friend of mine recently gave me the results of a major study from Notre Dame University concerning the loss of Catholic identity in what are called “emerging adults” (basically people in their 20’s).

The survey, begun in early 2,000, involved more than 3,000 teens and 20 somethings who identified themselves as Catholic. Questions were asked in 3 waves over 15 years; questions as to where these young people found themselves in relation to the Catholic Faith.

The results are sobering and offer a window to view the mind of these emerging adults. Some statistics:

• Approximately 50% of Catholic teenagers lose their Catholic identity by their late 20’s.
• Of these former Catholics, 59% still believe in God, 24% are unsure, 19% no longer believe in God.
• 66% of those remaining Catholics grew up with parents who shared the same faith and were active in verbalizing in the home.
• Roughly 59% of Catholics and former Catholics believe that the teachings of science and religion conflict with each other.
• 24% of former Catholics report “never” talking about religion in their family (16% of current Catholics chose “never” as well).

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The study goes on to examine some of the contributing factors behind the statistics. Perhaps the largest factor causing departure from the faith is simply the stage of life emerging adults find themselves in.

Emerging adulthood is a time to complete formal education, develop one’s abilities at work, to find a romantic partner, establish an independent identity from the dependence of youth. Religion often takes a backseat to these pressing issues.

Another factor in losing Catholic identity is the intensely private and personal view that these young people hold about religion/or not. They are unmoved by church dog- ma or strong claims about theology. Flexibility is required in all things given this transitory stage of life. “Uncertainty is okay” said one respondent. If it works for you – – – that’s your truth.

Another factor . . . science and its findings are seen by many as the only truly reliable form of knowledge and belief. If something lies outside scientific proof, then it becomes “conjecture” and can be accepted or rejected as each one sees fit.

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So what do we make of these findings? I hope you’re not shocked. We’ve been seeing these cultural developments over the past 50 years. I truly believe growing up today, becoming an adult in American society, is tougher in some ways than it was in the Great Depression.

There our parents and grandparents had certain “rock bed” beliefs that today go under the handy title “Old School”. Among them were: a certain respect for civil institutions, lawful authority, the wisdom of elders, and the belief for most, that God can be experienced through religion.

Of course not all these have been jettisoned but new principles have come to challenge tradition. Some are:

• Flexibility, openness to new ways of doing things.
• Valuing “what works” over traditional ways of doing things.
• Speed is good.
• Spiritual things are like personal opinions. Each to their own. There is no unassailable truth to any religion.

One thing that remains in our changing society (and a cause of hope for the future) is the decisive effect of parenting and family on the life choices the emerging adults make.

Parents who make some attempt to learn an “adult” understanding of the Catholic Faith (btw. it does not conflict with real and proper science) . . . and . . . who bring a mature faith conversation to family moments and parental guidance are inclined to foster young adults who can negotiate the challenges of life and grow in their Catholic faith.

Holy Trinity stands ready to help families look deeper into the marvelous truths of our faith, so that you will “be ready at all times to answer anyone who asks you to explain the hope you have in you.” 1 Peter 3:15

Yours in Christ,

Fr. Tim

(As promised last week…a previous article that continues the “Lesson of the Good Seed.”)

Two or three times a month each parish on the east side of Rochester is on call at Rochester General Hospital. From 8 in the morning to 8 the next morning; we respond to any calls for the Anointing of the Sick or the Sacrament of Confession. Sometimes I forget I’m on call. This was one of those nights. . . .

So it was Sunday night about 9:15. I’d just settled in to watch the closing ceremonies for the Rio Olympics. The chaplain at Rochester General calls to ask for an anointing. A woman, 93, in a coma . . . her son was asking for a priest. So you go right? Of course. It’s what we do.

On the way I try to spiritualize my frustration at missing the Olympics. “Lord, this is for you. I offer this up. Let this bring me closer to you and your Sacred Heart.” I silently patted myself on the back for responding quickly and calmly to the chaplain’s request. “I’m a dutiful priest”, I tell myself.

Her name was Ruth. She was curled up in a semi-fetal position. With eyes closed, her head was tilted back as if expecting a knock at the window. Tom, her son, greeted me with a kindly smile and extended his hand.

He told me his mother had come to the hospital with a lung infection but I soon learned this was simply the last in a litany of health problems that went back decades; back to when Tom and his sister were told their mother had Alzheimers and special care would be needed for her 24/7.

For 22 years they watched their mother’s growing dementia as Tom cared for her in his home. It had been years since Ruth even recognized him as her son.

“We just wanted to be ready, Father. She’s been through so much.” Briefly he fills me in on what the recent past had been and the numerous trips to emergency rooms. I was struck by the tender way he spoke of his mother and the total absence of any reference to what these years had cost him and his sister.

(It set me thinking of my sisters who each cared for our mom and dad in their final days. Like little children, our sickly parents needed constant care and attention which both of my sisters gave so readily.)

And here he was, bent over his mother’s bed stroking her hair. I wondered if I was kind enough, generous enough, selfless enough, to do what this man had done for so many years for his demented mother.

Suddenly my frustration over missing the Olympic closing seemed so small and petty. My prayer of “offering up” seemed less heroic, and my secret estimate of myself suddenly paled when compared to Tom’s undivided devotion.

So what’s my point? We’ve all been witness in our priesthood to persons of great charity and holiness. For me, the people I hold to be in the state of great sanctity (who knows these things?) . . . most are simple everyday people . . . few are priests. The point is we priests have it pretty easy. The great love of God’s people for the priest paves the way for a smooth landing in so many life situations.

Most people do the hard, thankless, every day carrying of their burden with no fanfare. We priests hear “thank you Father” almost daily. Most people get gifts on their birthday; we often get little candies on our desk “for just being you”. Most people pay for their meal; how many times has someone across the restaurant picked up Father’s check? Their moods don’t get pampered like Father’s when he’s “having a bad day.”

So I guess I’m urging us priests to see ourselves as Jesus did. “It is the same with you; when you have done all you have been told to do, say, ‘We are but servants; we have only done our duty.” Lk. 17:10

We priests stand humbled by the hidden souls whose brilliant charity daily sow the seeds of God’s Kingdom.

Your brother,

Fr Tim

I keep thinking of that little seed in the Gospel. “Unless the seed falls to the ground . . . and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat.” Jesus is telling us the purpose of the seed (its meaning) lies in “what it becomes”. John 12:21

We see this happening all around us this summer. The kernel of corn becomes a corn stalk which will bring ears of corn. An acorn begins the long journey of becoming an oak tree. The grain of wheat, the apple, pumpkin, tomato, wild flower seeds . . . all of them must die if we are to have the wonderful gift they bring. (Seeds in a bag? What good is that? Spread ’em around and be amazed!!)

Jesus tells us in this short brilliant image that we humans must “die to ourselves” and begin “living for others” and it’s when we do this that we discover who God made us to be. It brings a peace the world does not understand, a happiness no one can take away. And . . . it makes the world shine a bit brighter.

I can’t over emphasize how critical this “dying to ourselves” is, to discovering who we are and finding the path ahead for our lives.

It starts early in life when our parents teach us to “share”, “to shake hands and make up”, “to be gentle”. Later on, when life deals harder things, we’re challenged to “forgive”, “to go the extra mile”, “to comfort others”.

With practice, this thinking first of others becomes a habit, a character strength. It comes more easily with time and a quiet peace happens in one’s conscience . . . I’ve done the right thing. I feel clean. On the other hand, sadness comes most often when we realize we’ve put all our eggs in the wrong basket. The one marked “More For Me.”

It’s a cliché I know, but have you ever met someone with great financial resources, comforts and possessions the envy of all, yet someone who never learned the Lesson of the Seed? (It’s all there in the story of the Rich Young Man. Luke 18: 18-29).

(** Next week I’ll tell you a true story about a “Good Seed” I met at Rochester General Hospital. Tom was his name and I saw the love of Christ pour out of him in a simple but wonderful way. Me and my little seed felt puny next to him.)

So in the meantime, go be a good seed this week.

• Stay a bit longer with “that person” who tries your patience.
• Think ahead as to what might please your spouse. Do it.
• Smile when you’re not feeling happy.
• Say a prayer for someone who hurt you.
• Find a way to encourage a young person to use their gifts.
• Give some money away.
• Someone disappoints you for the 100th time. Smile and find a kind word for them.
• Sit with someone who needs company.
• Think of a generous reason why someone might be so annoying. Forgive them.
• Presume you’ve been that annoying too. Ask for par- don where appropriate.
• Go out of your way to be kind to people who wait on you. A smile and a kind word can really help someone.
• Know that any impulse to kindness and generosity is a grace given to you by God.

Have a good week you little seed you.

Fr. Tim

Some years ago the priests of the Diocese of Rochester met for a two day conference to discuss the challenges we face in communicating the Faith to our parishes.

The focus was on “Young Adults and the Catholic Church”. A young adult was classified as someone from the age of 18 to 40. They comprise according to our presenters, 2 generations of humanity. (A generation spans roughly twenty years. Its members are joined by a common experience of nurturing, dramatic social moment, and a similar spiritual awakening.)

The two current generations of young people are called Survivors (age 22-42) and most recently Millennials (age 0-21). Of course no list of sociological theories can define any one person. We are all unique in how we process the world around us. Nevertheless, these were the hallmarks of the two youngest generations. See what you think.

Survivor Generation (Age 22-42)

Facts:

• Most aborted generation in history
• Parental divorce struck survivors harder than any generation
• “Family” is defined in many and complex ways
• Perceived as a “blacksheep” generation
• Incarceration rate higher than other generations
• Grew up underprotected
• High incidence of “risk taking” behavior
• Establishes a pragmatic lifestyle, tending toward privacy and reclusiveness

Millennial Generation (Age 0-21)

Facts:

• Lowest child to parent relationship in American history
• “Quality education” is raised as a political issue
• Low birth rate–highly desired and nurtured children
• Outward looking, unites in a heroic effort during a secular crisis
• (This generation has many of the traits of the generation now passing away referred to lately as the “Greatest” Generation). The common experience? War.
• Powerful builders and leaders.

These two latest generations have yet to make their full mark on our society. From personal observation I see two wonderful qualities in these young people.

1. They value lifelong friendships and find strength in keeping close touch with one another even at a distance.
2. These younger generations seem to be color blind. They’re not afraid to mix races and ethnic back grounds in forming their circle of friends.
3. They’re practical. They want things to work. They’re not long on poetry or philosophy but their belief in technology will bring wonderful new developments to our lives.
4. They are willing to volunteer to serve human needs. Wonderful!

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So what does this all mean? It means we have to make room for each other. We have to find a way to welcome everyone. It means young people need to feel appreciated and valued for their particular gifts. It means that God’s gifts are revealed in all of His people.

We will make every effort at Holy Trinity Church to welcome our young people and to call forth the gifts God has given them to offer to the church. Young people will always be called to ministry in this community, as lectors, eucharistic ministers, catechists, peer counselors, parish visitors and evangelists. Along with their primary vocation as husbands/wives, fathers/mothers, our young will be an essential part of this worshipping community.

Young people. . . . . . hold us to this promise!

Fr. Tim

The Boomer Generation
(Disrespects authority and wants it all for free!)

Let’s begin this reflection with a promise given to us by God. “For I am convinced . . . that neither death nor life, neither angels nor other heavenly rulers or powers, neither the present nor the future, neither the world above or the world below, there is nothing in all creation that will ever be able to separate us from the love of God which is ours through Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38.

That said, the power of addiction will be overcome by God’s grace. Period. God does not want His children in bondage. So we need to find a way to let the power of the love of God into this dark and scary place. How do we do that?

It’s probably best to turn to those who have experienced a release from their addiction. The first people that come to mind are our brothers and sisters in the 12 Step Program of Recovery. Over the years they have discovered a certain path to victory over addiction to food, alcohol, pornography, gambling, etc. These 12 steps, if followed with docility and humility, will lead to freedom from addiction.

I want to focus on the first three steps as I feel they hold the key to all that follows.

Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over __________.

Step 2: Came to believe that God (my Higher Power) could restore us.

Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives to the care of God.

Here I think is the genius of the 12 Steps. It comes by admitting we’ve lost the battle. The addiction is just too big and too strong to hold out against. Every time it’s me vs. my addiction . . . I lose. How do I know that? Be- cause I’ve tried a 1000 times to NOT do that and a 1000 times I failed.

So the key to “sobriety”, as they say, is to admit I’ve lost. It’s a moment of terrible honesty with oneself when we admit “I can’t control this. It controls me.” This takes real humility. Our enemy the devil, sows seeds of protest in our mind, “No!”, we say, “I could stop if I really tried. I’m not a loser here.”

That’s a lie. Here’s the terrible truth . . . I’ve lost the battle. It’s over. I’ll never overcome this addiction. We have to give up trying to fix this by ourselves. Because we can’t.

So . . . now what? Just give up and give in? Of course not! Something very positive has just happened. We’ve admitted the truth – “we can’t”. There is no shame in this. It’s just the way it is.

But now comes the positive side, something you can DO. Steps 2 & 3 point to a moment when “we came to believe that God will help” and “we made a decision to turn our will and life over to the care of God.” (I have to emphasize that this “came to believe . . . God” is totally blind and without a foothold. It’s like bungee jumping into the Grand Canyon . . . at midnight.) He’s there. Trust the promise.

It’s like saying, “I can’t God. But you can . . . if I get out of the way.” Then the daily repetition of these steps begins (sometimes out loud to God in prayer). “I can’t Lord. You can. I’m yours. Do what you want with me.” Daily . . . daily . . . we have to return to these steps: surrender, believe in that power beyond yours, and give Him charge of your life.

Slowly, sometimes quickly, the compulsion to engage your addiction weakens. It doesn’t go without a fight however. It uses many tricks and voices in your head to try to convince you how futile are your efforts. “You’ll never lick this. Think how boring and cold life will be without me to comfort you. You’ll never make it without me (your addiction).” All lies.

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So much more to consider on this topic, but for now I think if we focus on two things: 1. “I surrender . . . I’ve lost the battle.” and 2. “I’m in your hands Lord. I’ll be the clay; you be the potter.” You will begin to see God’s freedom dawn on you.

Enjoy these summer days.

Fr. Tim

“These things are addictive,” he said as he finished the bag of honey roasted peanuts. We all know what that means in an everyday sort of way. There’s something that tastes so good, and repeats itself with each mouthful that’s it’s hard to resist eating too much of it.

But, in the common mind, it doesn’t qualify as a real addiction until we experience an inability to stop. It becomes a way of acting to which we are driven (even in spite of our better judgment). Where does this strange power over us begin?

St. Thomas Aquinas would tell us, it begins with something quite good: stimulation, comfort, ecstasy, release, approval. Many earthly activities bring about enjoyable psychological states to insure repetition. Food sustains life, the intense pleasure of sex ensures human conception. They are nature’s strong inducements but by them- selves they are not necessarily addictive.

What makes a particular thing addictive is its power to mesmerize, to outgrow the desire for other human experiences. There comes a point where, to NOT be in that state (full, high, aroused) is experienced as a deprivation, a sort of poverty. I’ve begun now to prefer my addiction to all the other states of being. I’m always looking to increase the time I might spend with it.

At this point the addictive power begins to limit human freedom. (The New Testament uses the term “slavery” in describing our attachment to this behavior). It will not quietly take its place amongst other human activities. Like the moon which disappears at sunrise, the other good things of life can’t compete with the blinding desire of addiction.

Moments like, kindness, friendship, generosity, humor, communication, as good and pleasurable as they are, are not addictive because they lack the power to overwhelm. One experiences these moments without others losing their comparable appeal. They are psychological states freely chosen amongst other human offerings. Their appeal does not remove other choices, even some less pleasurable.

Where does the addiction get its power? Science has been hard at work to unwrap the phenomena of addiction. They tell us over time the repeated brain waves of intense pleasurable action wears a pathway in our brain. Along this frequently used brain path travels powerful pleasure inducing hormones (pheromones) producing the increasingly desired effect. In effect the brain has found a shortcut to feeling of “well”. It’s only a matter of time that this easy “wellness” becomes the preferred state from which to engage the world. All addiction is, at least partially, a drug addiction (the pheromone release in my brain.)

Other addictive theories are more behavior based. But they too have a “pain relief” purpose. Psychologists tell us we all have elements of emotional pain in our lives. Some pain is life long and comes from traumatic instances in our youth. Others, less dramatic but chronic (loneliness, depression, fears, boredom etc.), can turn to certain behaviors that self-medicate painful emotional states.

For example, a person tied to a job she hates, without family or friends to enjoy life with, with little or no hope for anything changing for the better can self-medicate at the casino, the bar, the internet, the kitchen etc. . . . . any- thing to change the low emotional wellness level. Something as simple as a cigarette can bring an addictive comforting (I know this one personally.)

Let’s be honest. We all run the risk of finding something to which we are inclined in an unhealthy, addictive way. Feeling his weak human nature St. Paul writes to the Romans, “My inner being delights in the law of God. But, in my body I see a different law. A law that fights against the law of God . . . I don’t understand what I do; for I don’t do what I want to do, but instead I do what I hate. What an unhappy man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is taking me to death?” Romans 7: 14-25.

The answer of course is God. But we need to understand what we must do so God can do His part. We’ll look at that next week.

In the meantime I beg you . . . please know that God has a healing for our addictions. It starts with the Truth. “And the truth will set you free.” That’s a promise.

Enjoy this summer weather. It’s not addictive!

Fr. Tim

W. B Yeats called it the ever “widening gyre” *. The image was of a falcon and the falconer who calls the bird to its roost. The bird has flown to a distance it can no longer see or hear its master. “The falcon cannot hear the falconer. Things fall apart. The center cannot hold.” The poem refers to the forces of history or culture that take a person and a civilization away from their true self.

Something like this happens in every age of history. Its effects appear in our culture today and our young people are most severely affected. We’re losing a sense of our center, our true selves, and what is most disconcerting – – we don’t sense the loss. The forces that separate falcon from falconer are many and complex. To keep it simple we can point to an imbalance of the “inner world” and the “external world”.

The inner world refers to that realization a person has of himself. His center. His likes and dislikes, personality, characteristics and values. It’s our soul, our center. It’s the “me” that turns when I hear my name called.

The “outer world” of course is that environment outside ourselves; events, persons, circumstances in which we act and are acted upon. Some have called it “the daily grind”.

Between these two poles, my human life happens. I go out of myself to encounter the world and the people it brings. Then I return to the inner world and the conversation begins. “What was that? Why did that happen? Did I do the right thing?”, etc.

These two poles of life, the going out and the returning “home”, need to be in balance. The problem is the world with its unending chatter of social media, news and en- tertainment, overwhelms the “inner person.” There’s no home in ourselves to return to. We are in turmoil. Things fall apart.

In those rare moments when television or internet are turned off, we can grow restless or slightly embarrassed to be “alone with ourselves”. The sudden quiet catches us off guard and in the silence a weird feeling of being a stranger to ourselves comes over us.

To meet ourselves in such a moment can even frighten us. “Who is this person? It’s ME!!” Oh dear. Me. “What am I going to do with me?”

And so we check our email, text someone, see what’s on TV, phone somebody . . . anything to avoid being with myself.

This estrangement from ourselves has sad consequences for our relationship with God. How can we hear the voice of God if we can’t hear the voice of our own conscience- (that inner voice urging us to “do this” or “don’t do that” or “good job!” or “shame on you.”)

Remember Jesus telling us “when you talk to God (pray) go to your room. Close the door. And pray to your Father in secret.” Mt. 6:5,6? Why in secret? Because the way God chooses to speak to you is as a friend. And friends give each other their full attention. A friend speaks per- sonally to you like no other, many times quietly, just between the two of you.

In the quiet, over time, we return to ourselves and begin to hear things in our heart once again. I remember one year on retreat at a monastery walking down a country path. Suddenly it happened . . . I heard the wind blowing through the trees. I mean I HEARD THE WIND. I heard it because I was LISTENING.

Later on, if you continue to listen, you can hear the things your heart has wanted to tell God. “Lord, it’s me. I just want to tell you . . .” Many times it’s just being aware of your feelings and giving them to God “who sees.”

So, how to end this? Get quiet. Put down the iphone. Come home to yourself. Re-aquaint yourself to what you’re feeling, thinking, loving, fearing. Then. . . turn to Him. Speak anything (anything!) you want to get off your chest, be grateful for, need help with.

He is there. “Your Father who hears in secret. . . knows what you need.” Mt. 6:8

That is a promise from Christ.

Trust Him.

Fr. Tim

* W.B. Yeats, The Second Coming

We’ve often mentioned the different states in life that contain their own special vocation: the single life, married life and consecrated religious life (priesthood/sisterhood/brotherhood). Each “state” in life presents different ways of living out the one vocation we all have – – – to bring the love of Christ to the world.

Here at Holy Trinity we’ve kept careful record of the different vocations God has called forth from the people. So let’s see . . . in the last 80 years 19 men and women from our parish have been given the vo- cation to the religious life as a priest (6) or sister (13). (5 men have also been called to the diaconate.)

Guess how many men and women have been called by God to the married life? Over 2100. Why so many more married persons than religious life? God wants more families. God wants more children in His Kingdom! And that means He wants more husbands and wives.

Marriage has to happen before there’s anybody to even think about becoming a priest or a sister!

Marriage is the state in life that suits most people. It is the life that touches the deepest longing of the human heart — where we learn to love and be loved.

Here we receive the wonderful gift of family which gives us that necessary human experience of “belonging”. (I’m so glad my mother and father fol- lowed God’s plan for their life. My life was given to me because of it.)

It is a personal consolation to me to know that my life as a priest was the result of an invitation from God. I hope and pray that our young people here at Holy Trinity will begin to see in their fiancé not just a beautiful, nice, fun person but see in them God’s gift. And to take strength and courage that it is God’s idea that they love each other and live their lives together.

This is the strength that comes to us in our “vocation”. It’s not just our personal choice of how to live life — it is God’s invitation to share life with someone hand picked by the Holy Spirit for you. This trust in God’s intention for a married couple can strengthen them when life proves difficult. Despite feelings to the contrary sometimes, “this is exactly where God wants me to be. And so I trust in His help.”

Do you begin to see the strength that our faith brings to a marriage? Girls, look for a young man who goes to mass. Boys, the mother of your children could well be in line for communion ahead of you.

Lastly . . . young people . . . pray for your future spouse . . . that God will keep them safe up to the day you meet them for the first time!

I imagine God asking husbands and wives at the gates of heaven, “Did you love her?” “Did you love him?” “Like I showed you in my Son?”

God loves you more than you know.

Fr. Tim